1 april 2012

while wondering what she did feel when she was listening the song that i made that without which,that i hoped for coming home, for laying in my embrace of hope making her happy.

 i haven’t been in a good mood to do any writing, been too much crippled and slow. but here i am.

judging from the spiderwebs clinging to that trees that day, the trees was hardly been taken care off. to each web clung a small black spider, patiently waiting for it small prey to come along. not that spiders had any awereness of being “patient”. a spider had no special skill other than building its web, and no lifestyle choice other than sitting still. it would stay in one place waiting for its prey until, in the natural course of thing, it shrivered up and died. this was all genetically predeterminded. the spider had no confusion, no despair, no regrets no metaphysical doubt, no moral complication. probably unlike me, ” i have to move with purpose, which is why im alone now,decorating tree with a stupid emergency bought lamp from nearest conventional store which is passes through while i listening cornelius, and even if it means i might be ruining by rain, all the while sweepeng away these stupid decorated tree and looking at the ugly reflection of mine on somebody window terrace”.

but i still move, hopelessly but progresively

as my mind traced graphic memory, episode in life. the piano tune that i created rang like a sad scene background sound in the gloomy movies. my palm was tremored by imagining carresing shape of her waist, the thought that would not go away, her laugh that tickled me, and her breathing that sometime change,  the night, the word that she spoke, my feeling that would not take form of the words, unrealized hope, frustated longings. a gust of  a wind lifted a lock of her hair while and whipped it against her cheek while we riding a motorbike. the pain brought a film of tears to her eyes, and successive gust too dried the tears away.

while decorated and climbing the clinging spider web trees i halted my step and shook my head several time.

“i should still move, there for i am, hopelessly but progresively in love”, “with you”.

a full life time stranger

1 october 2011. 
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You’re somewhat of a stranger. 
That’s what keeps me want to get closer/

The incompleteness of knowing and finding ways to show. 
The incompleteness of showing and getting to know/ 

When it comes to questions, i can always relate to your answers. 
When it comes to hesitations, your soft palms on mine is the only thing that matters/ 

The hell with their smear, it’s the last of thing i want to listen to. 
If I had one wish it would be that your life brings you a taste of blitz happiness that you brought me/

Oh, dear, i sure have got my whole lifetime to get acquainted with you